Hector's Week 9 Picks and Eliminator By Hector the Projector It was quite the neat trick we pulled off in Week 8 while the good old Hecto-tron DA-42 was in the shop. A look at our record will show you what a treat it was to take our advice in Week 8:
Week 8 (no spread): 11-2; season to date: 77-39 Almost perfect! And now that the Hecto-tron DA-42 is back up and running again, it's time to pack up the Halloween metaphors for another year and embrace the month that is November. Of course, there's a lot of confusion as to why the 11th month of the year was named after the Latin word for "nine" … but that's only in English. Other languages yield far more colorful imagery. In Finland, November is Marraskuu, which means "month of the dead." Poland gives us Lipostad, a month chock full of falling leaves. South Africans who converse in Xhosa are welcoming the month of the small yellow daisies, since ngeyeNkanga ushers in the spring in the Southern Hemisphere. Anyways, sit back and relax. Pop open a studeni to celebrate the beginning of Studeni. That's a "cold one" in "November" to all you Croatians out there. Da se razumijemo, y'all. Sunday, Nov. 4 Denver at Detroit (-3½) Broncos are still reeling from that sudden death defeat at the hands of Brett Favre and the Packers. Now they have to go on the road and face the rejuvenated Lions, who have found a premiere back with the return of Kevin Jones. Still, Jay Cutler looked pretty good leading Denver on its final drive, and we think they'll be able to put this past week behind them and squeeze out a close one on the road.
Broncos, 28-27. San Francisco at Atlanta (-3½) Joey Harrington was told he wasn't wanted. Then Byron Leftwich got hurt, and suddenly it's "Please, Joey, we need you!" This is not exactly the happiest team in the world, but San Francisco and Alex "One Shoulder" Smith are not a finely oiled machine either. If this is your local game, you now know exactly why the DirecTV package was created.
Falcons, 16-14. Cincinnati at Buffalo (-1½) Another team with a deposed leader asked to swallow his pride and reclaim the thorny crown. With Trent Edwards aching, here comes J.P. Losman. Few words have caused less anxiety than that past sentence. Even a defense as soft as Cincy's should be able to do enough to keep Buffalo from topping the feats of Carson Palmer and his tandem of talented wideouts.
Bengals, 24-17. Carolina at Tennessee (-4½) Are there any solid QBs left in the NFL? You won't find any gunslinging going on here. A battered David Carr battles it out with a sad Vince Young, who could only complete six passes for 42 yards in Week 8. Can't we skip picking a winner in this one and just go with "under"?
Titans, 15-14. Green Bay at Kansas City (-2½) Momentum is a dangerous weapon. The Packers have it on their side after Greg Jennings' game-winning TD grab. That, and they seem to have found a running back in the form of Ryan Grant. A balanced attack from Green Bay? That can't be anything the Chiefs could be prepared for.
Packers, 23-17. San Diego at Minnesota (+7½) Does the name Brooks Bollinger ring a bell? Well, he's the likely starter for Minnesota. But any time we're not saying it's Tarvaris Jackson, we're smiling. Nonetheless, while we look forward to watching how Adrian Peterson performs on the same stage as LaDainian Tomlinson, we think this script plays out without any shocking twists or turns.
Chargers, 27-20. Jacksonville at New Orleans (-3½) This is not the same New Orleans team that played the first quarter of the season. Drew Brees has regained his confidence, Marques Colston has remembered how to catch the ball, and the Saints are actually able to move the ball without Reggie Bush touching it on every single down. The Jaguars are still reeling from the loss of David Garrard, and Quinn Gray is not the answer.
Saints, 31-23. Washington at New York Jets (+3½) The Kellen Clemens Era begins now. Unfortunately, it is against a team that is looking to pound the you-know-what out of somebody for the embarrassing whooping it endured last week at the hands of New England. We don't envy KC or any of his Sunshine Band this Sunday.
Redskins, 31-17. Arizona at Tampa Bay (-3½) Kurt Warner has had a week to heal. Anquan Boldin has had a week to rest his hip. This is good news for a Cardinals team that is actually thinking it can make a run at the playoffs. Tampa Bay hasn't put all the pieces together yet, but the Bucs better do it fast, because this Arizona team is good enough to beat them. In fact, we think they'll do just that.
Cardinals, 27-26. Seattle at Cleveland (-1½) It's Christmas come early for Matt Hasselbeck. Deion Branch and D.J. Hackett are expected to be back. Sure, there's bound to be an adjustment period before they click on all cylinders, but at some point during the day we expect a poor passing defense like the Browns' to be silently sobbing on the sidelines.
Seahawks, 18-14. New England at Indianapolis (+5½) Is there any need for any other game this week? Two unbeatens. Two high-powered offenses. Two tough defenses. We still question if Marvin Harrison is 100 percent. And really, that's the only question we have on either team. And that is why we give this one to the Pats by a very slim margin.
Patriots, 38-36. Houston at Oakland (-3½) Is there any need for this game any week? Two last-place teams. Two underwhelming offenses. Two 11-man defenses. We like Kevin Walter a lot. And really, that's the only thing we don't have questions about on either team. And that is why we give this one to the Texans by a very slim margin.
Texans, 19-17. Dallas at Philadelphia (+3½) Philadelphia is a conundrum. Some weeks they look awful. Some weeks they look like world-beaters. It appears as though Donovan McNabb has found some of his once-forgotten receivers and Dallas isn't exactly known for shutting down the opposition. The Cowboys can put up the points, though, so this one should be entertaining. In the end, we go with the home team in what is essentially a must-win if it is to make a run at the division title.
Eagles, 30-27. Monday, Nov. 5 Baltimore at Pittsburgh (-8½) Hines Ward and Big Ben Roethlisberger appear to have synched up again. There's no defense in the league that can stop a combination like that, not even the overhyped Ravens' D. For two teams only a game apart in the standings, we can't imagine a wider gap in our expectations. Steelers shouldn't have any trouble outscoring an offense that seems to consist solely of Matt Stover.
Steelers, 26-14.
Eliminator
It's a common practice in Melbourne, Australia, for men to grow moustaches in November. We're not sure why, but we know we're not in need of a disguise after our first perfect week in ESPN Eliminator picks. That's right, 6-0! Our season total now stands at a very respectable 32-16. Our selections for the first week of November are thus:
Gold Picks:Washington, Houston Can the Hecto-tron DA-42 match last week's efforts? As sure as a Klingon looks forward to the Festival of QI'lop as the month of Dogath gives way to Xan'lahr, we'd wager. Until the next time, live long and prosper. |
Prizes
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Total ARV is $3,000
